When I relocated to a new city, I realized I would have to put some work into creating a new social network outside of the online bubble. Such is the case for anyone relocating and working crazy hours and/or in a remote job. Moving itself is pretty much a “non-impactful” event in respect to a person’s online social networks, however when it comes to unplugging from the tech and interacting with people face-to-face, moving to a new city, meeting new people & forming new social routines (outside of your computer) is something you may have to be deliberate about.
Depending on how you’re wired, you might be feeling like a “caged animal” who needs to get out and mingle as much as possible; you are extraverted and feed on the energy of other people. Or you might be on the introverted side and prefer being on the couch with your dog, the remote and a pint of ice cream to recharge your batteries.
Either way, it’s important to make sure you are getting enough “face to face” socializing as it is a key input to leading a Good Life. Socializing face to face can help reduce feelings of depression, increase your sense of belonging which in turn can keep your cognitive skills sharp, combat loneliness and improve your overall well-being. Below are a few tips that can help you fit some face-to-face socializing into your busy girl life!
Find Peeps to Play Games With: I like having scheduled social events as part of my socializing routine. Be it a book club, a kickball team, rollerblading group or ladies game night – having a scheduled social event is a convenient way to schedule some “in person” socializing that doesn’t require a lot of work — meaning — all you really have to do is show up. Scheduled social events also make it easy to break away from work and other commitments because it is on your schedule. I have a ladies group I meet with every month for Pokeno night and all I need is a $10 gift, money for a margarita and I get to chat with my Pokeno lady friends and maybe win a prize. Some of these ladies I only see at Pokeno night and I don’t feel any obligation to socialize with them outside of our monthly Pokeno meet up. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy seeing all of these amazing women each month it’s just my life is super busy and I don’t have much time for socializing. If you’re looking for a group to hang with on a regular basis, consider joining Facebook Groups that match your interests and/or using apps like Meetup.com or NextDoor.
Host get togethers in public places (find a free room): While this does require more effort than just “showing up”, organizing a get together in a public place is a great way to have a say in the location and who is on the invite list. I am a member of a number of local Facebook Groups one of which is a local women’s hiking group. I decided to host a “meet and greet” for women in my area. I first made sure to intro myself to the group and then started responding to people’s posts to the group on a regular basis. Once I had done this for a couple of weeks, I posted an event to the Facebook Group and then promoted it by posting about it and inviting people to come. I then periodically promoted the event during the week by providing more details about the location. SPEAKING OF THE FREE LOCATION…once I had confirmed at least 5 people, I did a Google search for free dining room locations near me and found a super cool room the group could use for the event. I got to the event early and when people started arriving, I introduced myself and thanked them for coming. I tried to interact with as many ladies as possible to learn something about each of them. I also thanked each of the ladies for coming when they left. The outcome of this event was about 15 ladies showing up, us all having a great time socializing/getting to know each other. I was also able to connect with a few new people who I could hang out with locally, who like to hike and have an active lifestyle.
Volunteer Locally in Moderation: Get yourself out of your day to day grind by giving your time to a local non-profit. If you want to leverage your skills to do good for the world (like project management, sales, web development, graphic design, accounting, teaching, ??) your amazing skills can be leveraged by a multitude of non-profits. GO FOR IT!! HOWEVER, if the goal is to balance out your life by investing in new relationships, I strongly suggest you volunteer for a local non-profit to intentionally meet people in your community. Also consider volunteering to do something that is different from your usual daily responsibilities and most importantly – DO NOT over commit yourself. You might have to do some CSI work (or Google research) to find a local non-profit that interests you. I’ve used websites like GuideStar, VolunteerMatch and doing a Google Search for “Non-profits near me” to find volunteer opportunities in your area.
Say yes to invitations. If someone invites you to do something you should say yes. Even if you don’t want to go, say yes. If the alternative is to sit at home and do nothing say yes. If you get a chance to meet people and get to know them say yes. If you have to leave early, go any way. The point is say yes!!
