Dating Dilemma #1: Breaking Free from the Ex Factor: When a A Date’s Not Over His Ex!
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🌊 Shelley Seabreeze 🌊
From: 🌊 Shelley Seabreeze 🌊
To: GiGi The Dating Guru
Subject: The Ex-Factor : Dealing with a Date Who Can’t Stop Mentioning His Ex 🚀💔
🌊 Shelley Seabreeze 🌊
Hi Gi Gi,
So glad I found you! You’ve got to help me!
I hope this email finds you glowing with positivity and good vibes! 🌟 I’m reaching out because I desperately need your dating wisdom. I recently went on a date with a guy I met at a friend’s wedding (yes, the classic “love in a tuxedo” scenario). From the moment we met, he seemed like a total catch—charming with his easy smile and the way he mentioned he’s a “beach sunset aficionado.” We instantly bonded over our mutual love for brunches and those golden sunsets. Super charming, right? But, oh boy, that’s where the fairytale took a nosedive! 😅.
We decided to grab coffee at a cozy beachside café, and I was looking forward to diving into some great conversation. But, oh boy, things took a turn when he started talking about his ex. 🙄 It felt like every other sentence was about her—how they used to travel to Europe, their inside jokes, and even their favorite pizza place! 🍕 I tried to steer the chat towards my latest underwater escapades or my weekend yoga sessions, but somehow, she kept coming up. 🧘♀️🌊
I’m all for open communication, but it’s tough to connect romantically when someone is stuck on their past. I’d really like to be with someone who’s excited about creating new memories together. How do I address this without sounding like I’m being harsh or uninterested? 🤔
I’d appreciate any tips you can give me, as I’m hoping to find someone ready to start a fresh adventure with me. 🌺✨
Thanks a ton! 🌸
🌊 Shelley Seabreeze 🌊
Did You Know? 44%
Did you know? According to a 2022 YouGov poll, 44% of Americans aren’t friends with any of their exes. And interestingly, women are more likely than men to cut ties completely. So if your date’s been going on and on about their ex, you’re not alone in feeling a bit frustrated. It turns out, many people are all about leaving the past behind and starting fresh! 💁♀️🚫❤️
GiGi the Dating Guru
From: GiGi The Dating Guru
To: 🌊 Shelley Seabreeze 🌊
Subject: The Ex-Factor : Dealing with a Date Who Can’t Stop Mentioning His Ex 🚀💔
GI GI the Dating Guru 🍎💌
Hey there, Shelley Seabreeze ,
Oh, sweet Shelley, I can feel your frustration! Dating should be about discovering new connections and making exciting plans for the future, not feeling like you’re stuck in someone else’s rerun. It’s lovely that you’re open to creating new memories with someone who shares your love for sunsets and brunches. That’s what makes dating so thrilling and full of potential.
However, encountering a date who keeps bringing up their ex can definitely put a damper on things. It’s completely valid to want a partner who’s present and focused on building something new together. Let’s work on how you can gently address this without seeming disinterested or harsh.
Red Flags Before the Date
Before diving into that next coffee date, keep an eye out for a few cues that might hint at potential ex-drama:
- Social Media Overload: If every other post or story on his social media references his ex or past shared experiences, it’s a sign he’s not fully moved on.
- Frequent Mention Pre-Date: If he talks about his ex frequently during phone calls or texting even before the date.
- Comparisons: If he’s always comparing you or situations with “how it used to be with his ex” before you’ve even had your first date.
- Keepsakes Galore: A plethora of profile or WhatsApp photos with his ex, or still wearing mementos they shared, might be cause for concern.
Dating Tips to Navigate Ex-Centric Conversations
- Redirect and Relate: Acknowledge their stories briefly, then steer towards shared interests or future plans you both can look forward to.
- Set Boundaries: Politely but firmly express your interest in getting to know them without dwelling on past relationships.
- Change the Subject: Introduce new topics that focus on present activities or future aspirations, creating a positive and forward-looking atmosphere.
- Past Relationships Chat: Casually ask, “When was your last serious relationship?” A recent breakup might be a sign.
- Seek Stories: Invite him to share a funny story from his past. If most stories circle back to his ex, take note.
- Holiday Talk: Mention upcoming holidays or seasons and ask how he usually celebrates. If he mentions “we” a lot, referencing the ex, it’s a clue.
Gigi’s Final Thoughts
Sweetheart, you deserve to connect with someone who is fully engaged in building a new future together. If your date is continuously focused on their past, it’s a clear sign that they may not be ready to embrace a fresh start. Communicate your desire for a relationship that prioritizes present and future experiences. A partner who values your journey together will be enthusiastic about creating new and meaningful memories with you.
As you continue your dating journey, remember to stay true to what you’re seeking. Setting the tone for a relationship focused on the present and future will help attract the right person. Embrace each date as a step closer to finding someone who shares your excitement for new beginnings and adventures.
Keep your heart open and your expectations clear. With each new encounter, you’re drawing closer to the partner who’s ready to embark on this beautiful journey with you.
All the best,
GiGi
GiGi's Suggested Reads
Set Boundaries Workbook: Your Guide to Healthy Limits : Ready to take control of your life? This workbook by Nedra Glover Tawwab is your go-to for mastering healthy boundaries. Packed with exercises, prompts, and checklists, it helps you understand your needs and put those limits into action. Perfect for anyone who wants to speak up confidently and show up authentically. Say goodbye to people-pleasing and hello to a life that truly reflects YOU!
Transform your life from “meh” to magnificent! "Passion Struck" is your ultimate guide to finding your purpose, silencing self-doubt, and living your boldest, most intentional life. Packed with expert insights and actionable steps, this book helps you unleash your inner powerhouse and create a life that truly lights you up. It’s not just a book—it’s your new life plan!
Free your mind from negative thought patterns with "Don’t Believe Everything You Think." This book teaches you to go beyond overthinking, letting go of self-doubt, anxiety, and suffering. Learn to live in the present, embrace peace, and find joy—no matter your circumstances. Ready to change your mindset and your life? Start here!
Ready to master the online dating game? "Dating In A Digital World" is your ultimate playbook to find love without all the drama! This guide teaches you how to create an irresistible profile, dodge the red flags, and turn digital chats into real-life dates. Perfect for any woman tired of endless swiping and dull conversations—say hello to fun dates and goodbye to online dating frustration!
Break free from the overthinking trap and reclaim your peace of mind! With 23 practical techniques, this book guides you to stop the negative spirals, relieve stress, and stay present. Say goodbye to sleepless nights and endless “what ifs,” and hello to a calmer, clearer you. Perfect for anyone ready to ditch anxiety and embrace a zen life!
Heartbreak sucks, but this journal is your ticket to bouncing back better than ever! With prompts, exercises, and guided reflections, "After the Breakup" helps you process your feelings, rebuild your confidence, and prepare for a healthier, happier next chapter. Say goodbye to your ex and hello to the fabulous new you. Healing starts here!
Let’s be real: Breakups are brutal. But this guided journal, packed with prompts, reflection exercises, and self-care tips, is here to help you heal, move on, and come out stronger. Written by a licensed psychologist, it’s your ultimate companion for navigating the messy aftermath of a breakup. Because sometimes healing is tough—but you’re tougher!
Level up your date nights with "Better Together," a card game that brings couples closer through fun, thought-provoking questions. Whether you're newly dating or long-time partners, these cards spark deep conversations and meaningful connections. Perfect for anniversaries, date nights, or just because. Strengthen your bond, one question at a time!
Turn up the fun and spontaneity with "It's a Date!"—40 exciting scratch-off date ideas perfect for any couple. Each card offers a surprise activity that promises adventure, laughter, and romance. Great for anniversaries, birthdays, or any day you want to spice things up. Who knew date night could be this exciting?
Take your relationship to the next level with the "Love Lingual Couples Card Game." Designed to boost intimacy and deepen your connection, these cards are perfect for date nights, road trips, or cozy evenings in. With questions covering every topic from family to future dreams, this game brings you closer, one conversation at a time.
This article was human crafted, edited & researched using the assistance of AI and is for information & entertainment purposes only. This article should not be construed as advice and is provided without warranty of any kind.
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