Dating & Single Life, Love & Relationships

Dating Dilemma #3 : Dodging the Clingy Octopus: Managing Aggressive Behavior on Dates

Java Jane

From: Java Jane
To: GiGi The Dating Guru
Subject: Help! My Date Was More Aggressive Than a Pop-Up Ad 😳

Hi GiGi,

I seriously need your wisdom right now! 💫

So, a little about me: I’m a software developer living in sunny San Diego. My weekdays are all about writing clean code and tackling bugs, but on the weekends, I’m either paddle boarding at the beach, attempting to bake the perfect sourdough, or binging the latest sci-fi series. Life is pretty sweet—until I hit a glitch in my dating life! 🌊🍞📺

So, I recently went out with a guy I met on a dating app and what a smooth talker he turned out to be. Everything was going great at first; he had this charming smile and a laugh that was totally contagious. We went to this cool rooftop bar with a killer view of the city. The conversation was flowing, and I was feeling all the good vibes.

But then, things took a turn. About halfway through the evening, he started getting way too touchy-feely. He kept trying to hold my hand, even though I was giving off some major “not interested” signals. Then he leaned in way too close, and I’m talking close enough that I could smell his cologne (which, by the way, was way too strong, but that’s beside the point). 😬

I laughed nervously, trying to deflect, but he wasn’t getting the hint. He made this awkward joke about me being “too cute to resist,” which made me feel super uncomfortable. I was honestly hoping for a fun night with good conversation, not a wrestling match with my personal space! 😒

GiGi, I’m at a loss. How do I handle a guy who comes on too strong without things getting awkward or turning into a scene? I just want to enjoy a date without feeling like I need to dodge a game of tag! Help me out here, please!

Desperately Seeking Decent Dates,

Java Jane

Did You Know? 65%

💡Here’s a quick heads-up, Busy Girls! While both single men and women feel the dating struggle, women are more likely to face negative experiences. About 65% of single women looking to date have encountered harassment, like unwanted touching or false rumors, compared to 50% of men. This pattern holds true whether people are currently dating or not.

GiGi the Dating Guru

From: GiGi The Dating Guru
To: Java Jane
Subject: Help! My Date Was More Aggressive Than a Pop-Up Ad

Hi, Java Jane ,

First, let me wrap you in a virtual hug because, girl, I hear you loud and clear. Navigating the dating world can sometimes feel like walking through a minefield, especially when your date turns from charming to alarming in the blink of an eye. It’s completely natural to feel shaken after encountering someone who didn’t respect your boundaries, but I’m so proud of you for listening to your instincts and getting out of that situation safely. That’s the kind of quick thinking and self-respect that will keep you shining in this wild world of romance.

Now, let’s talk about why taking action in situations like this is so crucial. By recognizing those red flags and asserting your boundaries, you’re not only protecting your physical safety but also preserving your emotional well-being. Setting clear limits early on helps you maintain control over your dating experience and ensures that you’re only investing time in someone who truly values and respects you. It’s all about building a foundation of mutual respect—something every queen like you deserves. So let’s arm you with the tools you need to navigate future dates with confidence and clarity!

Red Flags Before the Date

Before you even agree to meet in person, there are a few subtle hints that can clue you in on whether your potential date might turn out to be more aggressive than charming:

Overly Eager Communication: If he’s bombarding you with texts or messages at all hours and pushing to meet up ASAP, this could be a sign of impatience or disregard for your comfort level.
Pushing for Personal Details: Does he insist on knowing your home address, workplace, or other personal information before you’re comfortable sharing? This could indicate a lack of respect for your privacy.
Inappropriate Humor: If his jokes make you feel uneasy or if he brushes off your concerns with a laugh, take note. Humor should make you feel at ease, not anxious.
Lack of Respect for Your Schedule: If he insists on meeting at inconvenient times for you or pressures you to cancel other plans, he’s showing signs of controlling behavior.
Too Much, Too Soon: If he’s already talking about a future together or making grand gestures before you’ve even met, this could be a red flag that he’s trying to rush the relationship.

Essential Dating Tips to Stay Safe

Meet in Public Places: Always choose a well-lit, populated location for your first few dates. Coffee shops, parks, and busy restaurants are great options to keep things casual & safe.
Set Boundaries Early: It’s okay to be upfront about your comfort levels. Saying something like, “I’m excited to meet you, but I prefer to keep things low-key on the first date,” can set the tone.
Keep Friends in the Loop: Let a close friend know where you’re going and who you’re with. Share your location via a phone app if possible, so someone has your back.
Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, don’t be afraid to call it a night early. Your safety and comfort come first, always.
Have an Exit Strategy: Plan a way out if the date isn’t going well. Drive yourself, arrange for a friend to pick you up, or have a ride-share app ready to go.

Gigi’s Final Thoughts

Darling, your intuition is your greatest ally in the dating world. If a situation doesn’t feel right, don’t hesitate to step back and reassess. Remember, dating should be an enjoyable experience where both parties feel comfortable and respected. Anyone who doesn’t honor your boundaries isn’t worth your time. Your peace and safety are priceless—never compromise on them.

Keep these red flags and tips in mind as you journey through the dating world. Trust yourself, set clear boundaries, and remember that the right person will always respect and value you. You’ve got the power, and you deserve the very best. Keep shining, my dear!

All the best,

GiGi

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This article was human crafted, edited & researched using the assistance of AI and is for information & entertainment purposes only. This article should not be construed as advice and is provided without warranty of any kind.

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